1 year anniversary! We were so young and carefree....
We are certainly far from having the perfect relationship.
We have had 7 years of love and 7 stages of love and it hasn’t been easy. We started out with “falling in love” love. The love that means we couldn’t be away from one another, couldn’t be without one another. Every exchange was intense. The connection was immediate and strong. It was live or die kind of love, though we didn’t have to say much because we knew it in our hearts. The "I love you" came 4 months down the road, but I knew it was love instantly.
Then came the love of “where is this going” and how are we incorporating each other in our independent lives. This was a harder stage for me than him. He was ready to move in, while I was nervous and wanted to make it on my own. He waited, like he did a lot for me, so I could be strong and independent. He was there for me during these times as well. A rock I had not experienced. My dad got sick after 8 years of us not talking, and he was just patient and calm. I was confused and freaked out, rightfully so, and he was there again. Silent at times because he had no clue what to say, but he was there. That brought us into the stage of love that becomes really deeply rooted because you have been through things, and you have ridden the tides together. That was a major turning point because it’s was a bonding experience.
Which then took us into our period of space. Here I was again, freaking out. We had just weathered quite a storm (…yet another beautiful storm) and I was edgy and selfish. I thought space was required. I couldn’t believe I had someone like this, and I wasn’t ready to settle down. So I pushed him away, or at least I tried.
Here is the love of “I can’t let you go.” No matter how we tried to separate, we couldn’t do it. We started thinking if we can’t be apart, why aren’t we together. So here was the stage of “let’s give this
another try” and so we did. Slowly we were starting to tell family and friends we were back together. It was a new awakening to our relationship. It was like starting over. Everything felt new and shiny. Who knew it was a calm quite before our biggest storm. Here comes the “holy sh*t we’re pregnant” stage. This stage was tormented with fear and questions. “How could we do this? Are we
ready? Could we be good parents? Do we have enough means?” The list went on. But
we faced it. We faced our biggest fear head on and had the biggest payoff yet, bringing us to our “I’m in love with our family” stage. The high of being a new parent is like no other. We spent most of our son’s first days just staring at him. Had he not been an infant we would have pinched him to
make sure he was really there. It was pure joy and amazement. Everything else pretty much faded away.
We just had our second child so we have made a full circle back to this stage and I am happy to be in it. There is nothing like it and yet at the same time it’s a stage that brings stress, sleepless nights,
questions, and anxieties.
As years go on I am sure there are more stages to come, but at this stage of life I am happy we have each other and everything else is just a bonus ... and I mean really, really, seriously cute bonus in the form of our two love children!